Wherein Our Heroes chill you to the bone with tales of paranormal spaghetti restaurants, ghostly Peeping Toms and cursed artwork in our third annual Halloween Spooktacular! We’ve seen Stranger Things than the dour 0-0 draws that haunted Vancouver Whitecaps FC and Houston Dynamo but the return legs are sure to give us goosebumps. Also, Sebastian Giovinco reminds us that no wall can stop his murderous free kicks. Hang on to your butts; it’s a scary one!
Wherein Our Heroes yet again throw shade at the MLS, but only because we love the league so much. Seattle triumphs over Toronto FC in an MLS Cup Final that can only be described as a bit of a snoozer. Atlanta United and Minnesota United FC flesh out their rosters through the MLS Expansion Draft, Joey Barton is added to the Burnley F.C. WhatsApp group, and José Mourinho brings the lads in for a training session on Christmas Day. Also, we assert our sovereignty over The North Pole, and confirm Santa’s identity as Canadian once and for all.
Wherein Our Heroes lament Canada’s ineptitude at painting lines on football pitches, get excited for BBC’s forthcoming behind-the-scenes look at the goings-on at Watford F.C., and ridicule Cristiano Ronaldo’s feeble attempt at masquerade during a recent visit to Disneyland Paris. Two students spend a lovely evening camped out in the loo at Old Trafford, Firmino’s haircut gets all the praise, and football-related arrests are on the rise. We also commend our Japanese hosts for providing us a little taste of home when we traversed The Land of the Rising Sun…potato salad. Ride it!
Wherein Our Heroes bask in the glory of having a Canadian MLS team guaranteed a spot in the MLS Cup Final. We preview both Conference Finals, are not having Giovinco’s snub for league MVP, and extol both Liverpool and Chelsea for their deserved spots at the top of the Premier League table. Long-time listeners Brendan and Luke weigh in on recent topics and we salute Philippe Coutinho’s well-groomed dome in Haircut of the Week. Also, we wish Wayne Bridge good luck in his latest foray in the jungles of Australia and, keeping with tradition, we spoil Westworld’s most popular fan theory.
Wherein Our Heroes are haunted by Manchester United’s zombie-like ineptitude in front of goal, some West Ham supporters make our skin crawl, and FIFA’s cobbled-together attempt at rebranding their year-end awards is like Dr. Frankenstein’s ghoulish creation. The MLS playoffs are in full swing, with away sides in the first leg looking like lifeless corpses. Also, Adam spoils all of your favourite movies and TV shows…the horror!
Wherein Our Heroes get all Deutsche up in this Nordecke and pull out their Postsack to answer your burning questions. Der Kraftwürfel shines for Stoke City, Marwin Hitz causes a Modeste miss and the MLS Cup Final is wunderbar! Also, the president of “Le Coq” is not havin’ any sex scandals, Jack Warner plumbs new depths, and Rodney Wallace bobs and weaves his way through a barrage of beer cans all the way to the illustrious “Haircut of the Week” award.
Wherein Our Heroes hope the MLS Cup runneth over, a cast is discussed for Jamie Vardy’s life on celluloid, Manchester United continue to bore, Arsenal’s infirmary continues to burst at the seams, and we are not having Diego Costa’s pathetic attempt at insubordination. Also, Leeds fans are collectively awarded for their trouble obeying the law.
Wherein Our Heroes get in touch with their inner Liza Minnelli, belt out Aaron Neville’s greatest hits in Spanish and dip into the mail bag to answer your burning questions. Chelsea’s woes are innumerable, Barcelona’s players are left with huevos on their face, and Rémi is the new Garde. Also, Sasha brings the stasha, sacking Kreis ain’t nice, and the Impact drive all the girls crazy.