Wherein Our Heroes chill you to the bone with tales of paranormal spaghetti restaurants, ghostly Peeping Toms and cursed artwork in our third annual Halloween Spooktacular! We’ve seen Stranger Things than the dour 0-0 draws that haunted Vancouver Whitecaps FC and Houston Dynamo but the return legs are sure to give us goosebumps. Also, Sebastian Giovinco reminds us that no wall can stop his murderous free kicks. Hang on to your butts; it’s a scary one!
Wherein Our Heroes delve into the ins and outs of the upcoming MLS season. The youth movement has us excited, we like the cut of Seattle’s jib, and peg Toronto FC to take the next step. Minnesota United FC is likely to falter in their inaugural season, we are not having current Bachelor Nick Viall’s lotharious ways, and we award a Triple Barton to Orlando City SC, NYCFC, and Atlanta United’s supporters. Here’s to a great season!
Wherein Our Heroes flog the dead mule that is MLS officiating, question Louis van Gaal’s personnel choices versus Spurs, and sing Andy Carroll’s praises. Also, we dust off the Wheel o’ Segments…wherever will it land? Gary Lineker is made to write lines for his blind love, Patrick Vieira serves up some humble pie, and Michael Michael gets a nod for service above and beyond the call of esthetics.
Wherein Our Heroes are joined by MLS wizard and Calgarian-by-way-of-DC, Adrian. We make public our predictions on many MLS-related topics. We prognosticate DC United and LA Galaxy will not make the playoffs, Toronto’s backline will be much improved, Orlando City SC will fare better than their inaugural season, and the league should expand to Miami – pronto. Will Larin, Villa, or Giovinco (or none of the above) win The Golden Boot this season? Will FC Dallas capture The Supporters’ Shield? All this and more, in an MLS preview that’s as good going down as our Last Best beer!
Our most recent “Moustache of the Week” winner. Is this heroic outlaw Robin Hood? Swashbuckling thespian Errol Flynn? MLS Humanitarian of the Year nominee, NYCFC’s own Jeb Brovsky? Regardless, that upper lipholstery is some kinda wonderful…
Wherein Our Heroes get in touch with their inner Liza Minnelli, belt out Aaron Neville’s greatest hits in Spanish and dip into the mail bag to answer your burning questions. Chelsea’s woes are innumerable, Barcelona’s players are left with huevos on their face, and Rémi is the new Garde. Also, Sasha brings the stasha, sacking Kreis ain’t nice, and the Impact drive all the girls crazy.