Wherein Our Heroes examine the cost of pints and pies at each Premier League ground, and find most clubs are woke. Chelsea have no chill on opening day, while Manchester United are in beast mode. Sheffield United and Middlesbrough supporters leave us salty. Respeck #blessed
Wherein Our Heroes discuss possible implications of a 107-hour trip by road for Russian teams visiting newly-promoted FC SKA-Khabarovsk. Arsenal display verve in the FA Cup Final despite a questionable decision from Anthony Taylor on Alexis’ opening strike. Chelsea must add depth to compete in both the Premier League and Europe next season, Jason loves the current Bachelorette season and Adam recommends y’all hit up “The Keepers” on Netflix. All soccer, some of the time.
Wherein Our Heroes discuss the Premier League season that was. Overachievers, underachievers, managerial gaffes, successes…the heat is brought. The weird and wacky from the last match day is reviewed with speed, wit, and dexterity. Also, the League One Cup Final results in a collective Barton Award to cap off 2017-18. Our Heroes look forward to focusing on goings on in MLS for the next few weeks! Prisencolinensinainciusol!
Wherein Our Heroes reveal the latest celebrity Arsenal supporter (hint: he lives on Pennsylvania Avenue but his father doesn’t). Wandrille Lefèvre is suspended for a troubling social media post, John Terry announces he’ll be leaving Chelsea at the end of the season, and Manchester United see off Conte’s men, making West London squirm as the race for the title tightens like Denise Bueno’s Official Brazilian Sunday League Standard Issue Uniform. Also, Bayern are on the wrong end of some dodgy officiating against Real Madrid and we discuss the return of HBO’s The Leftovers and the world’s latest podcast sensation, S-Town.
Wherein Our Heroes bask in the glory of having a Canadian MLS team guaranteed a spot in the MLS Cup Final. We preview both Conference Finals, are not having Giovinco’s snub for league MVP, and extol both Liverpool and Chelsea for their deserved spots at the top of the Premier League table. Long-time listeners Brendan and Luke weigh in on recent topics and we salute Philippe Coutinho’s well-groomed dome in Haircut of the Week. Also, we wish Wayne Bridge good luck in his latest foray in the jungles of Australia and, keeping with tradition, we spoil Westworld’s most popular fan theory.
Wherein Our Heroes express their desire to procure Petr Cech’s latest designer headwear, celebrate the very first green card awarded in Serie B, and discuss PSG’s latest big signings (aka their eSports team). Chelsea simply decimate Manchester United on Mourinho’s return to Stamford Bridge, The Special One has some choice words for Antonio Conte post-match, and Zlatan still finds time to flash his pearly whites despite it all. Also, we get whimsical thinking about the days of getting cussed out in Spanish by whippersnappers.
Wherein Our Heroes are joined by guests Joe and Greg to wax philosophical on the Premier League season to be. Together, we engage in the most profound punditry in the Northern Hemisphere, including but not limited to, our top 7/8 picks in the table, Pep Guardiola’s first season in England, where Leicester might finish, whether or not Paul Pogba is worth his transfer fee, and Big Sam’s propensity for steering England to glory. Also, we drink a LOT.
Wherein Our Heroes celebrate the unlikely, yet wholly deserved Premier League Champions, Leicester City F.C. Aston Villa supporter, Tom Hanks, may (or may not) have won himself $730,000 USD, the international media bungle the greatest Cinderella story in the history of sport, and controversial officiating is a storyline at The Theatre of Dreams. Spurs channel “The Crazy Gang”, and Leicester’s habitual starting XI are worth less than Pedro, Hazard, and Raheem Sterling’s legs. Also, internet promises made must be kept. Good luck in Bratislava, @Mark0_dcfc
Wherein Our Heroes dissect recent comments by wonder-scout Piet de Visser and his assessment of José Mourinho’s man management, Alan Pardew unveils the subject of his FA Cup motivational tactics – namely him, and Infantino promises FIFA will ensure Qatar’s employment standards are on the up-and-up. Meanwhile, Sakho faces a potentially lengthy ban and Benitez leads the Magpies to their first points away from St. James’. Also, Montreal can’t handle The Atomic Ant in Drogba’s first start of the season. We’re not nobbling!
Wherein Our Heroes swim in a deluge of topics, including Ronaldo’s “tighty whities” in Real Madrid’s post-Classico team photo, Erin McLeod’s recent injury misfortune, and Remi Garde’s demise at Aston Villa. Bad MLS Comics aren’t really all that bad but our first female Joey Barton winner’s recent behaviour is (sorry Abby Wambach). We debate Antonio Conte’s recent appointment as Chelsea manager and the etiquette of good sportsmanship on the pitch. Also, we are Cabo!