Wherein Our Heroes perform the first Quadruple Segment for your auditory pleasure as Sam Allardyce can’t save his job with England. West Ham are in a world of hurt after yet another abysmal performance, with crowd noise being pumped through the PA at London Stadium to bolster the atmosphere and late-night tomfoolery rampant among the players. Atlanta United FC secure a manager with arguably the most impressive curriculum vitae in MLS. Also, Jamie Vardy’s pre-match diet is pretty much disgusting.
Wherein Our Heroes are simply shocked at the omission of Iceland and the Viking Clap from FIFA 17. We carefully appraise the merits of gaffers singling out their players in the media and aren’t havin’ it. Manchester United’s woes continue; is it the low work rate, players in unfamiliar roles, or blind devotion to aging stars? Landon Donovan is the next to live “The Great American Sports Comeback”. Also, Joey Barton FINALLY wins his eponymous award and joins the ranks of “The Joseph Anthony Barton Highfaluting Gentlemen’s Club”.
Wherein Our Heroes delve into the mailbag and produce a glorious rant of epic proportions from Brendan. Benito Floro and Canada Soccer decide to consciously uncouple, we wonder if Canadian players are getting their fair shake in the MLS, and London Stadium sees trouble both on and off the pitch (Payet’s Rabona notwithstanding). Also, José Mourinho yet again fails to pip Pep.
Wherein Our Heroes share their knowledge of Canadian civic nomenclature, Team Canada fail to qualify for the “Hex”, and our dreams of seeing the Maple Leaf at a FIFA World Cup must wait another several years. We are havin’ Megan Rapinoe’s right to take a knee during the Star Spangled Banner, Leicester players choose to differentiate their four-wheeled gifts, and England’s players need a weekend at a Tony Robbins symposium – Big Sam clearly needs more time. Also, we offer a post-mortem on the Bachelor in Paradise finale.
Wherein Our Heroes dip into the Mailbag to discuss the Premier League’s TV deal as well as German last names. Jason recounts his experience at BC Place in Vancouver Whitecaps’ recent CONCACAF Champions League encounter with Sporting KC, Montreal Impact finally vanquish their BMO Field demons in a hotly contested 401 Derby, and the future looks bright for Team Canada heading beyond qualifying for Russia 2018. CD Leganés offer gourds to visiting clubs this La Liga season, while their shirts are part gimmick and part sensory wonder. Also, Marouane Fellaini becomes the first two-time Haircut of the Week winner for selflessness and chivalry during Manchester United’s clash with Hull City A.F.C.