Wherein Our Heroes deliver an episode as interesting and bizarre as Gregory van der Wiel’s inaugural press conference for TFC. The recent match between Spurs and Liverpool delivers two controversial penalty decisions and we enter the fray to offer our expertise and punditry. Also, Antonio Conte may be a dead man walking at Chelsea, but is his squad too thin to fit his long-time vision?
Wherein Our Heroes feel empathy for David Moyes and his bid to save The Hammers from the drop. Sevilla’s manager drops a bomb on his players at half-time against Liverpool, to great effect. Socceroos manager Ange Postecoglou resigns suddenly, forfeiting his opportunity to become the first manager to guide Australia in two World Cups. Also, the first leg of the MLS Conference Finals are discussed at great, great length.
Wherein Our Heroes bask in the glory of having a Canadian MLS team guaranteed a spot in the MLS Cup Final. We preview both Conference Finals, are not having Giovinco’s snub for league MVP, and extol both Liverpool and Chelsea for their deserved spots at the top of the Premier League table. Long-time listeners Brendan and Luke weigh in on recent topics and we salute Philippe Coutinho’s well-groomed dome in Haircut of the Week. Also, we wish Wayne Bridge good luck in his latest foray in the jungles of Australia and, keeping with tradition, we spoil Westworld’s most popular fan theory.
Wherein Our Heroes bask in the glory of several early-season Premier League matches. Spurs vanquish Crystal Palace with Harry Kane oddly stationed as a Number 10. Will the arrival of Christian Benteke herald a change in recent fortunes for The Eagles? Elsewhere, Burnley see off Liverpool with only 19% possession, Ronald Koeman earns his first victory as Everton manager, and Hull, with merely a baker’s dozen senior players in the squad, earn their second victory in as many matches. We are having Steve Bruce’s departure in the summer, and Michy Batshuayi’s treble tarantula earns Haircut of The Week. Also, our Canadian Women’s Team is saluted for another outstanding Olympics in Rio.
Wherein Our Heroes dissect recent comments by wonder-scout Piet de Visser and his assessment of José Mourinho’s man management, Alan Pardew unveils the subject of his FA Cup motivational tactics – namely him, and Infantino promises FIFA will ensure Qatar’s employment standards are on the up-and-up. Meanwhile, Sakho faces a potentially lengthy ban and Benitez leads the Magpies to their first points away from St. James’. Also, Montreal can’t handle The Atomic Ant in Drogba’s first start of the season. We’re not nobbling!
Wherein Our Heroes offer twice the righteousness in several cases: Steven Gerrard gets a biopic and joins the Telegraph, Caballero and Rashford garner fanfare for their coifs (or lack thereof), and Neapolitan robbers and El Hadji Diouf etch their names in the annals of unsavoury eternity. Van Gaal takes a dive as Manchester United beat Arsenal, Wenger makes excuses, and the Capital One Cup Final is an electrifying affair. Also, why are so many goalkeepers both American and bald?
Wherein Our Heroes drop science on y’all, the Chinese Super League rings in the “Year of the Monkey” with a bang, the Jermaine Pennant and Jamie Vardy biopics gain traction, and John McGrane rrrolls up the rim on the Canadian Premier Soccer League. Also, we toast Marcel De Jong’s man bun, Canada and the USA get friendly and experimental, and Liverpool supporters stage a walk out amidst an exciting weekend in the Premier League.
Wherein Our Heroes review the Canadian National Team rosters ahead of February’s big fixtures, Jordan Morris chooses Starbucks over Beck’s, and Football Leaks walks the line between transparency and “blackmail” (according to Doyen). Costa rankles Arsenal, Norwich and Liverpool forget how to defend, and Aguero sets a milestone. Also, our Joey Barton winner is pure Gold.
Wherein Our Heroes get verklempt over coffee talk. Manchester United and Chelsea…no big whoop. Arsenal have a mixed Holiday Season. Francesco Becchetti dupes…who knew? There are many haircuts to discuss amongst yourselves. Also, Per Mertesacker wipes his shpilkis on an unsuspecting admirer’s genechtagazoink.