Wherein Our Heroes revel in the glorious irreverence provided by the football world this week. Carles Puyol is attacked with a sex toy, Lillestrom’s Aleksander Melgalvis Andreassen places his genitals in the recently-won domestic cup in Norway, and a 17-year old Sunderland supporter may or may not have defecated in his seat. He did urinate in his seat, by his own account. Also Shaktar’s gaffer sports a Zorro outfit after a well-fought Champions League victory against the mighty Manchester City and we discover that Adam is a regular Bill Tench.
Wherein Our Heroes put to bed our infatuation with Stranger Things 2, once and for all. Toronto FC bid to become the first MLS franchise to win the domestic treble, but don’t look all too convincing leading up to the MLS Cup Final. Wayne Rooney scores a cracker from half, Fellaini and Rüdiger suffer from boot problems (with differing attitudes), and Ronaldo gets the bust his handsomeness deserves. Also, inspired by Gareth Bale, we chat about our hypothetical preferred wedding entertainment.
Wherein Our Heroes feel empathy for David Moyes and his bid to save The Hammers from the drop. Sevilla’s manager drops a bomb on his players at half-time against Liverpool, to great effect. Socceroos manager Ange Postecoglou resigns suddenly, forfeiting his opportunity to become the first manager to guide Australia in two World Cups. Also, the first leg of the MLS Conference Finals are discussed at great, great length.
Wherein Our Heroes celebrate both of us having finally completed Stranger Things 2. A double dose of updates are provided, with Patrice Evra on the sidelines until next season, and Social Cut and Shave’s Ed offering up some sage wisdom in the Chelsea Barber Saga – London Crop to follow. Daniele De Rossi gets insubordinate as Italy crash out of Russia 2018, and we love it. We are not havin’ U.S. Soccer’s potentially proposed “Participant Cup”. Also, Bruce Arena pulls a gutsy stint on Fox Sports 1, offering up punditry on his former cadre so soon after cataclysmic failure.
Wherein Our Heroes provide tips on how the Gaffers aren’t just a footy pod, but can spice things up for couples when need be. The first 88.89% of Stranger Things 2 is discussed, Chelsea’s barber is banned from Cobham, and Patrice Evra channels his inner Bruce Lee. Slaven Bilić initiates a 360 review, Rémi Garde finds new life in Montreal, and the Whitecaps crash out of the MLS playoffs. Also, TFC and Red Bulls have a giant meeting of the minds at halftime of their second-leg tilt at BMO Field.
Wherein Our Heroes chill you to the bone with tales of paranormal spaghetti restaurants, ghostly Peeping Toms and cursed artwork in our third annual Halloween Spooktacular! We’ve seen Stranger Things than the dour 0-0 draws that haunted Vancouver Whitecaps FC and Houston Dynamo but the return legs are sure to give us goosebumps. Also, Sebastian Giovinco reminds us that no wall can stop his murderous free kicks. Hang on to your butts; it’s a scary one!
Wherein Our Heroes dissect the dismissals of both Roger Koeman at Everton and Montreal Impact’s Mauro Biello. Megan Rapinoe speaks out against FIFA after the Women’s Best Player Award shortlist is released, our Barton Award is doled out to an unnamed Everton supporter involved in the fracas against Lyon, and Vancouver Whitecaps hope to see off the San Jose Earthquakes in the first round of the MLS playoffs. Also, Adam finds out he isn’t Ukrainian after all…thank you Ancestry.com.
Wherein Our Heroes mourn the loss of Canada’s Unofficial Poet Laureate, Gord Downie. We discuss the highs and lows of Baby Driver and Blade Runner 2049. Serie D’s Giovanni Liberti receives a 5-match ban for urinating on opposing supporters, or was he just drinking from a pitch-side water fountain? Columbus Crew may find a new home in Austin, Manchester City look unstoppable, and the etymology of San Diego 1904 FC’s name is questioned. Also, in sad news for Canadian soccer development, Whitecaps FC II fold and a new chapter begins in Fresno. Sleep well, Gord.
Wherein Our Heroes are joined by Paulie, better known as Bad MLS Comics. Collectively, we discuss Paulie’s witty artwork, barn quilts and Canadian pop culture. Also, Wayne Rooney begins his community service at a local garden centre. Mostly, we lament the assured absence of the United States at the 2018 FIFA World Cup.
Wherein Our Heroes gush over the latest trailer for Red Dead Redemption 2. Bosnian player Marin Galić loses a testicle in a cringe-worthy challenge, Cesc Fàbregas admits to being the man behind The Slice, and Alex Morgan earns a Barton Award for her recent behaviour at Epcot Center. Also, the entire gamut of GoT spoilers is covered, for your review.