Wherein Our Heroes revel in the glorious irreverence provided by the football world this week. Carles Puyol is attacked with a sex toy, Lillestrom’s Aleksander Melgalvis Andreassen places his genitals in the recently-won domestic cup in Norway, and a 17-year old Sunderland supporter may or may not have defecated in his seat. He did urinate in his seat, by his own account. Also Shaktar’s gaffer sports a Zorro outfit after a well-fought Champions League victory against the mighty Manchester City and we discover that Adam is a regular Bill Tench.
Chad Marshall pleads to the football gods while Stefan Frei is attacked by a bumblebee during the Cascadia derby between Seattle Sounders and Vancouver Whitecaps.
Wherein Our Heroes get stoked on the Canada men’s national soccer team roster, praise Gigi Buffon for over 15 hours without conceding a goal, and reminisce about mid-90’s UK soft rock. Derby matches abound as Rashford continues his torrid pace, a Newcastle fan botches the hug of his life, and Vancouver takes the first Cascadia match of the season. Also, Jurgen panders, Shuttleworth’s mane stops penalties for New England, and we are not having Mix Diskerud as the most overrated player in MLS.
Wherein Our Heroes are joined by their first-ever guest host, who struggles with The Gaffers’ creed. Formations are obsessed over, Euro 2016 dark horses are released from their barns, and the lads take a pretend gamble on Ronaldinho. Dimitri Payet, Olivier Giroud, and Christian Eriksen are lauded for their performances this season, while Sunderland and Villa are in tough. Also, Brendan is subjected to the dreaded Lightning Round of Awesomeness.