Wherein Our Heroes provide an update on the Cassano saga, celebrate Manchester United’s new fan-designed third kit, and offer predictions on how many goals Chicharito will score for West Ham in the coming season. Kenedy is sent home after major social-media gaffes, earning this week’s Joey Barton Award. Also, MLS rejects a massive broadcasting rights deal in the name of preserving a system without promotion and relegation, and Jason attends the latest Cascadia match in Vancouver.
Wherein Our Heroes analyze Wayne Rooney’s move to Everton as well as Chelsea’s recent signings in the transfer market. Antonio Cassano does a retirement about-face, the MLS All-Star jersey leaves us wanting, and Canada has thoroughly impressed in the Gold Cup. Also, get thee to the cinema and watch The Big Sick and Baby Driver as soon as possible…both are Gaffer Approved.
Wherein Our Heroes celebrate F.C. Crotone gaffer, Davide Nicola, upon completion of his cross-country Italian cycling odyssey. Federico Allende brag about stabbing opposing Estudiantes players with a needle, and earns our Best Barton Ever. We disagree on Ifab’s recent proposal to change half lengths to 30 minutes. Adam recounts his recent Calgary Foothills F.C. match-day experience, with special thanks to The Ship & Anchor. Also, we basically love Jell-O shots so much we just can’t even.
Wherein Our Heroes discuss potential preliminary transfer predictions, weigh in on the Diego Costa/ Antonio Conte saga, and award Michael Bradley the most aerodynamic Haircut of the Week in the history of Gafferdom (both for his coif and laser-like chip). We lament the occasional incursion of politics into sport, reminisce about the Drambuie Showcase Revue, and advise how Calgarians can get behind their Hoops, Foothills F.C. Also, Samuel Piette is apparently responsible for most of the attendees at the latest Canadian Men’s friendly in Montreal.
Wherein Our Heroes celebrate an unstoppable Real Madrid, first-time repeat holders in the Champions League era. Aaron Ramsey purchases a classy abode in Wales, complete with helipad and golf course. John Terry reveals some of José Mourinho’s more unsavoury management methods, Washington Square FC are lauded for their choice of shirt sponsor, and Roy Larner is extolled for his bravery in the face of the recent attacks in London. Also, Adam aces a Canadian Citizenship Test, natch.
Wherein Our Heroes discuss possible implications of a 107-hour trip by road for Russian teams visiting newly-promoted FC SKA-Khabarovsk. Arsenal display verve in the FA Cup Final despite a questionable decision from Anthony Taylor on Alexis’ opening strike. Chelsea must add depth to compete in both the Premier League and Europe next season, Jason loves the current Bachelorette season and Adam recommends y’all hit up “The Keepers” on Netflix. All soccer, some of the time.
Wherein Our Heroes discuss the Premier League season that was. Overachievers, underachievers, managerial gaffes, successes…the heat is brought. The weird and wacky from the last match day is reviewed with speed, wit, and dexterity. Also, the League One Cup Final results in a collective Barton Award to cap off 2017-18. Our Heroes look forward to focusing on goings on in MLS for the next few weeks! Prisencolinensinainciusol!
Wherein Our heroes devote an entire episode to a thought-provoking correspondence from Brendan. The Leftovers is hailed as a revolutionary moment for television, Sulley Muntari is praised for walking off the pitch in but one of a series of terrible instances of racism in the sport recently, and the Canadian Premier League gets a green light – with two confirmed clubs and hopes to kick off as early as 2018. Bastian Schweinsteiger throws some major shade by openly speaking about a gulf between MLS and the big European leagues. Also, friend-of-the-show Lev sends a note and meets us in the middle on our ongoing urination debate.
Wherein Our Heroes celebrate the upcoming Calgary Foothills F.C. PDL season, mourn the loss of Ugo Ehiogu, and bestow upon Joey Barton an esteemed Joey Barton Award. Viewer feedback on the use of the spidercam in the Manchester Derby is scathing, Jamie Vardy must fend off real foxes, and Héctor Bellerín sports one of the worst haircuts (barnets) ever. Also, Providence Park is earmarked for a sexy expansion and a cockney rhyming slang quiz is failed miserably.
Wherein Our Heroes reveal the latest celebrity Arsenal supporter (hint: he lives on Pennsylvania Avenue but his father doesn’t). Wandrille Lefèvre is suspended for a troubling social media post, John Terry announces he’ll be leaving Chelsea at the end of the season, and Manchester United see off Conte’s men, making West London squirm as the race for the title tightens like Denise Bueno’s Official Brazilian Sunday League Standard Issue Uniform. Also, Bayern are on the wrong end of some dodgy officiating against Real Madrid and we discuss the return of HBO’s The Leftovers and the world’s latest podcast sensation, S-Town.